A few nights ago Alex and I stayed up talking until well after midnight. We were talking about how interesting it is that we feel so close as roommates despite the fact that we communicate so much less with each other than we did with past roommates. How, when we barely talk to each other, could we have become friends so fast?
Alex made two points I had never really thought about:
First, we've come to know each other by simply watching each other. We see what we're like by what we do. We don't judge each other from frivolous conversations about the weather or school. You see someone do the dishes, and you are so grateful. Someone gives you a hug because you look down, and you love them more for it. We're more observant.
Second, it is REALLY hard for us to do anything when talking to each other. I'm starting to get to the point where I can listen to music and still understand what someone is signing to me. But reading a book, doing homework, making dinner, etc., is very hard to do while someone is talking to you. When one of us starts to talk, everyone stops what they are doing to focus on them. We pay attention, because we have to. So often we talk to people while they are watching a movie or reading a book, and they only half listen and respond. I'm guilty of that. However, here we "listen" to each other because we need to, and it makes such a difference in our relationships with each other.
I won't always live here, but I hope I can carry those lessons with me for life: the importance of observing the actions of others and showing gratitude, and focusing on others when they are trying to communicate with me.
I am so grateful for the opportunity to live with such wonderful friends!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
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